I think I’m guilty of what many Americans do and find joy and happiness in a celebrity couple. GAH I feel so dumb but I’ve been watching Pitch Perfect too much and have added another crush to my list of Geneveive, Emma, Emma and Anna. Whom is Kelley Jakle. But Adam Devine is dating her and for some reason I’m happy about that. And to sound even more weird/(is pathetic too strong of a word?) but creepy found her FB profile and they look so cute together. Now if only Ders would date Anna and I would be so happy. ANY the who I should really just concentrate on my own life instead of day dreaming of what would happen if I met these people. Hint I’m never going to. Who visits Western Mass on a whim?
Do I…..Brendan Everett Kane. Believe in the Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu sense of “God.” No. Not at all. It’s on the same level of Mythology. Actually no mythology was a lot cooler. I am an agnostic atheist. Essentially that means I personally can’t prove “God” doesn’t exist but I have my believes and theories why to believe he doesn’t. I love to think of it from something my friend Sarah Dickerson told me from philosophy class that “God” does exist because we (as humans) think it into existence. While it exists in many a mind in Western society. It exists purely as a historical figure that has greatly affected the landscape of recent human history. A terrible virus pasted down from generation to generation if you will. Spreading unnecessary pride, war, and suffering to the innocent people.
I can’t believe in any God that has allowed most of this stuff that has come across humanity. If we are made in such an image. I can’t believe it has pictures of the holocaust in it’s house or Jack the Ripper esque friends hanging out for dinner.
I’m sure I’ve dropped this theory many a time but it never seems to be able to come out correctly or as powerful as I want it to sound. My theory is that religion, god is purely a social creation. Like the economy. Money. The value of money or the economy does NOT exist unless we believe in it. Start believing this paper (cotton) or plastic doesn’t exist or have any merit then boom….shit goes down. Why the Christian came about I personally don’t know because I haven’t read up on the history of it but it exists and has been used for everything but the correct reasons and morals the Bible was there. The Bible was essentially a written book about how to live in 5th century A.D. culture. Annnnndddddddd people in the 21st century still want to live that way? I don’t know. I guess people believe that it’s printed in the 21st century so it applies to this modern day life style? Sigh.
Napoleon saw that religion was good because it kept the masses happy and also another philosophy (and American “enemy”) Marx. Religion and God are simply in human nature. Human nature being super communication based. What brings people closer together than worshiping one figure? A common enemy haha. Both really bring people together.
Well this debate has got me thinking. Something finally somewhat distracting me from Pitch Perfect, Anna Kendrick, Britney Snow and Anna Camp <3. But like a lot of things I’m on the fence with the issue I’m presented.
On one side I completely agree with Bill Nye. Like come on. There needs to be the separation between School/State/Church. All three separated. How can you believe the earth is 6000 years old and that we were created like this? thinking about it this is such a strange being to look like. But in order to reproduce our brain thinks other humans attractive. So science and psychology.
On the other hand I don’t want to tell people they’re wrong in their life and they need to reconstruct an entire concept that they’ve carried with them their whole life. Like telling a running you don’t need running shoes…..like you’ll have a lot of runners calling BS and not believing you. Sure it’s hurting you in the long run but it’s alright. In this issue it has tax and mass population implications so it’s kind of important to show that there’s a difference between physical evidence and a book written and translated a thousand times, thousands of years ago written about events happening a couple hundreds years before that. We’ve all played telephone in school if you get where I’m going with this.
The thing I’ve learned is that I don’t want to get involved with people’s lives. They had the unfortunate pleasure of being born and being a ticking time bomb of enjoying a few short years in a world that doesn’t have it’s priorities straight instead messed up with historical politics and religion instead of making life as enjoyable, beneficial and happy for everyone. Any way getting side tracked. I see this hypocritical with conservatives a lot of the time. “HEY I don’t want governement in my life and taking my guns and money!!” then “HEYYYYY the church says you can’t abort that baby because JESUS wants that kid to live an awful life with you because you can’t support yourself and we don’t want the government supporting you.” Anyone of my one reader see how they don’t want anyone running their lives but they want the church running everyone’s life? Frustrating.
I guess this was a real “in the shower” realization. I’ve taking a free online class called Health and Society and they were talking about social income inequality. So after seeing a few videos of different psychological studies as well as watching the lectures it was quite amazing how unequal the whole United States is in regards to the top percentile controlling more wealth then the rest of the 99%. On and on and on it goes with those types of stats along with the immobility to go up in class in the United States. Essentially where you’re born is what you’re going to live in the rest of your life. No real “American Dream” except a lucky few of course. Along with this class I’ve been reading the Hunger Games book series (loving it by the way). A book about how “the Capitol” controls 12 other “districts” which provide their region specific resources to the Capitol while a majority of the people live in poverty. I’m not sure if Suzanne Collins meant to make such a relation to economic status in the books but at least in my head it relates.
The big difference I see in the United States compared to the book is that in the book the Capitol is the government and all controlling and in the United States at least in my eyes I see capitalism, money, the big companies as our rulers (i.e. lobbyist, bribery, corruption and greed). But in both scenarios you can see mass propaganda to the lower classes making them believe that that’s where they belong. Propaganda in the book being the video footage of the “destroyed” district 13 and constant reminders that the Capitol has been gracious enough to allow the other districts to live. In the real world (I’ll Fight Club this) “advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need." 90% of the media is controlled by SIX companies. All these companies have multiple stakes in many other aspects in our lives to sell us shit. They have us chasing the idea of an "American Dream" where with hard work you can have that 200,000 sq. ft. house in the suburbs of Boston. But do you know what hard work gets you if you work at McDonalds? Staples? CVS? A pat on the head. You can’t move up unless you have a degree. Where do you get a degree? Oh you have to spend thousand upon thousands of dollars to go full-time or part-time and missing out on work, family and free time. It’s an awful loop for people not born into better off situations. And with those people who work one or two dead end jobs to be able to provide for their family, girlfriend, wife what do they get from the wealthy? Heckled, looked down at, disgraced because they’re perceived as lazy for not going to college or "working harder" to get promoted. But this unfair society we have deems it okay because the ones with the money are perfectly happy getting fat, not caring about the health, well being and lives of majority of the people. Tell me if we have all known that cigerettes and fast food are super bad for you for probably 10+ years now why aren’t they forced to change? Money, money, money, money. It’s disgusting.
Anyway my comparison to the Hunger Games is that in the United States we have the real world we eventually have to go into, find shelter, a job, a mate and so on, mostly depending on the income you bring in. The book has the actual Hunger Games which is basically a scaled version of the “real world.” The “Victor” gets his/her life made for the rest of their life for winning. Districts 1 and 2 have an advantage and are known as the “Careers” having every advantage in life getting to train all their lives for the hunger games. While District 12 is poor, underfed and their only concern in life is surviving to the next day. I personally see this as it parallels with our real world. The “Careers” have enough food and shelter and only have to worry about school, getting good grades, having the chance to take SAT prep classes and getting into amazing universities and go onto getting great high paying jobs. Where district 12 people see school as a government requirement and wait to be able to get a job and help support their family and engage at the “black market” and little to no thought about college. Until one lucky one has a chance to get “sponsored” and go to school for free and get the advantage of a college education.
I guess the point of this rant is to show that I’m sick and disgusted that people think they have all the control in the world to do and become what you want when you have little to no power depending on where you’re born. The big business, people with money have control on our government to protect THEIR interests. Politicians are taking the money and just voting on party lines because if they don’t what do you know they aren’t running next year for the position. I think the government is just laughing at this like it’s all been worked out. The way they can suppress the majority of the population with religion, advertisement, reality TV and sports. It’s all frustrating and I know I sound like a communist, socialist, liberal but all those words are just that. WORDS. With negative connotations that come from the 1950s with the Red Scare and The Cold War. The communists were atheists so America decided that we would be God Bless the United States. The founding fathers were theists. They believed in God but knew the importance of the separation of church and state and of religious freedom. But what do we have in the U.S.? Patting down every mulism because it’s “different” and it isn’t “white America.” It doesn’t make sense and I keep seeing this country filled with ignorant, arrogant, and scared peple who won’t move on and grow up. America is falling. The only thing that keeps our status is the whole fucking army we don’t need that everyone is scared of. But the upkeep of that army, navy and airforce? UN-BELIEVEABLE. The thing that’s keeping our status is sinking us further and further and further into debt. Our economy is doomed and instead of putting it off we need to bite the bullet and see everyone on the other side.
*Drops mic on stage*
I have to be wrong here. Just the whole coaching thing. I have to be wrong about it. My personality just can’t be right for it. I have to be the one that’s wrong. I’m not looking for anyone to say different because it is quite obvious if the EL administration, all the EL coaches and even a past coach don’t want me back. I have be very wrong by the ways I’m going about things. Even looking how they don’t call me to sub anymore after the whole Principal’s daughter incident. I feel like Katniss, having the Capitol watching all my moves, waiting to catch me outside the electric fence and turn it on. Well EL you didn’t have to go through so much trouble. I wish you just ended it during the season to make the situation perfectly clear that this behavior is not acceptable in their sports program. I’m young I’m insecure in this big setting and I want to help the girls I know will listen. That’s my defense but I’m the adult and I should see my actions carry consequences whether conscious or unconscious actions they affect those young minds either way, good or bad.
Shame on me.
This guuuuuyyyyyyyy. Got word from the boy’s head coach not even Budd that the AD and principal do not want me back coaching. So I’m at the fork in the road whether to take the high road and not take it out solely on the boy’s head coach who from what I’ve read in the message thinks his opinion has any weight. I respect Budd and I wanted to hear it from him. And the kid who is 4 years older than I thinks he can command that respect. I know he “knows” more than me in life. But unlike him and Corbett I wasn’t lucky enough to be handed a head coaching job like they were. Or take the low road which I did briefly there. I want to lay out so much…….anger and negativity……that it is truly unhealthy and making me disgusted with myself. While reading that message all I saw was “YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP YOU FUCKED UP” written. Then in self defense I take negative attacks on the person who’s writing out this bad news to me instead of taking the words to improve myself. Clearly this should of been more obvious to me from the beginning. I was only thinking that Budd was the highest order where it was the AD whom I never had a good first impression with (twitter incident). Then of course the principal! The principal! The principal who’s daughter runs on the XC team who was either too injured to run or didn’t show up at all…..I mean was a great part of the team that I should of given a lot more attention too! Wow….then with no more of Budd’s support me thinking that the girls and their parents could keep me on….I was on the wrong side of the fence.
From the message it sounds like it was my obvious favoritism towards 75% of the team….wait that doesn’t make sense….oh wait yes it does because the 3 that I was honestly SCARED to talk to and “coach” were the ones actually pulling the strings. Then it was me running my mouth about how I thought the coaches didn’t know what they were doing which of course we can all let out a BIG duhhhhhhh…on 1,2,….3! DUHHH is a big reason I can see for the disconnect and obvious reason they didn’t want me back. Because in this business it’s all about experience. Not philosophy. Not attitude. Not passion. Experience. Can you babysit this kids and not hit on them or get into any trouble. The school doesn’t want to bring you in to help them win. They don’t want you to teach them how to be an adult and that the real world and life aren’t going to hand you everything. If you don’t follow the guidelines of what the sport is going to do and what is required of you then what do you know YOU’RE IGNORED. People. Don’t. Want. To. DEAL. WITH. YOU. You’re holding everyone else down. Drowning them. Because we want everyone to hold hands in this cradled high school of ours, where everything is handed to them.
I understand now.
My philosophy just didn’t match up. I became too comfortable with the athletes I coached all summer and was too intimidated with the “popular” girls to give them a chance.
You live and learn right? Hopefully. I don’t know where my life is going to take me next…but I doubt coaching will be a part of it from what I’m seeing so far.
First meal my sister is back from college and she had a bad day at work and the mood at dinner is……tense to say the least. Even when mom is pissed it wasn’t that uncomfortable. Even so mom would talk nothing else but trying to make her feel better. The stark contrast of our personalities and behavior still amazes me. For someone who thinks they’re so mature still has so much growing up to do. Acting like everyone is out to get her that she should never be wronged. Honey, that’s life. So many people are going to have bad days and affect your day and that’s when you look at it from their point of view and move on. It’s out of your control you don’t have to bring everyone else down around you. What I’m trying to teach my athletes is that a negative attitude only drags you and teammates around you down. Positive allows you to build and want to overcome challenges.
I guess the thing that annoys me most is that she thinks she needs attention for her actions and for the things mentioned before. She thinks she knows everything already at 20. By no means will I still know anything in another 20 years! I won’t understand Cross Country I’ll still need to learn. It’s just ever since she started XC and tried to portray that she loved it as much as I did I’ve lost a great deal of respect for her. It was just so fake. I have no doubt she likes running and identifies with it as a big part of her life. But…….it just didn’t help that my mom kept thinking Joce and I were on the same page as to knowledge, comprehension, passion and dedication of the sport. I’m sorry that’s just not so. But if I say anything to my mom it’s brother picking on little sister. Wait, she’ll get a great job out of college, move to Boston with Jeff, all of a sudden 40 hour work weeks, cooking, cleaning, spending time with Jeff and what Joce? You don’t run that much anymore? Yeahhhh thought so. I’m blowing girls off because I know they won’t hold my attention or last as long as running will.
Plus our drastically different political and religious views. I don’t think my mother will understand that Jocelyn and I as people will never bond, click or truly have that sense of connection to one another. I don’t see it as a problem because, you know, classic Brendan loves being independent.
But in the end, it’s just something I’ll always be stuck with.
Another one of my cross country athlete’s texted me the other day and asked if I knew who was coaching Indoor for the distance girls (whether myself or Mr. Fois) and of course I had no answer because Budd has not communicated with me since my email to him over a week ago. I have the support of nearly all the girls to be the assistant coach for indoor. Yet Budd’s lack of communication and clear desire to find another coach rather than have myself there is just very concerning. While he has almost every reason to not bring me back because of disrespect and……..I don’t remember what else I’ve done. But I’ve given life to these distance girls and they actually know what to do now and want to get better! UGH! Budd!!
So what it comes down to is that I’m feeling more and more pessimistic as the days go by but my thought is that he would look so bad not bringing me back and he knows I’m better than Fois is. What I’m looking at is either Budd is pulling me along to either finally give me the position or just break my heart. So I have no idea what to expect here.
Of course I’m still hopeful because I am the best candidate because I didn’t do anything but help the girls and show that someone actually cares about their distance running progress instead of Budd. I did offend him but from what I’m gathering from other people I’ve talked to it shouldn’t be that big of a deal and apparently it is. I think it will all work out whether I get the position or have to learn more at Country Memorials and search for volunteer assistant coaching job else where!
I really want to be there for the girls in their track season but if I have to go to watch their meets as a spectator it won’t be the same but at least I will have something. Have to keep positive because it should all work out for the better!
Yet………short hair I kind of do mind. Strange but this thought popped up when I saw Jennifer Lawrence kind of being a bitch to Jon Steward. Aside that fact I personally believe that Ms. Lawrence is ‘eh’ not ugly by any means just if I saw her at a college party then she would not stick out (not that I go to those anymore). This was of course both after I saw her with long hair and then with short hair as she was talking on The Daily Show. Now when I refer to a short hair cut I’m saying like Miley Cyrus/Emma Watson kind of deal. It’s just something like that hair of style that I just do not find attractive. From a practical standpoint short hair is very easy to maintain considering my own experience I grew it out a little bit and I found shampooing a noticeable task. So I totally understand getting a haircut for that reason. Even for a feminine movement type deal where you want to show women not going with how the media portrays beauty in the west. A standing ovation from me seriously. For me though….you go down a few pegs not that my shallowness is any kind of measurement of a women’s true beauty. I think it’s just how I grew up and was taught to look for in women as attractive.